To that awesome person, I hope you have a great day today, and great tomorrows too. I love you… well, more than I can think of here at 3AM. More than I could think of ever, maybe. I just love you a lot, y’hear.
We’ll begin with a box, and the plural is boxes;
But the plural of ox should be oxen, not oxes.
Then one fowl is goose, but two are geese;
Yet the plural of moose should never be meese.
You may find a lone mouse of a whole lot of mice,
But the plural of house is houses, not hice.
If the plural of man is always men,
Why shouldn’t the plural of pan be called pen?
The cow in the plural may be cows or kine,
But the plural of vow is vows, not vine.
And I speak of a foot, and you show me your feet,
But I give you a boot - would a pair be called beet?
If a tooth plus whole set are teeth,
Why shouldn’t the plural of booth be called beeth?
If the singular is this, and the plural is these,
Should the plural of kiss be nicknamed kese?
The one may be that, and three may be those,
Yet the plural of hat would never be hose.
We speak of brother, and also of brethren,
But though we say mother, we never say methren.
The masculine pronouns are he, his and him,
But imagine the feminine she, shis and shim!
So our English, I think you will all agree,
Is the trickiest language you ever did see.